20 December 2022

Becoming a dad happened far earlier than expected for twin dad Carl, when his sons were born 13 weeks premature. Following the whirlwind of finding out he and wife Becky were expecting not one but two babies, they were then faced with the early arrival of their sons.

Stanley and Hayden were born on 21 April 2019 both weighing 2lb. Coming to terms with having premature sons was a real rollercoaster for the family. After being furloughed during the coronavirus lockdown, Carl felt he wanted to document what he had been through in the hope of helping others. Carl describes himself as “an ordinary bloke who went through an extraordinary experience”. After sharing some of his thoughts in an online article, Carl decided to start a blog and PremDad was born.

From that blog, he found a wealth of supportive people online on Instagram and X, with parents praising him for his honesty and sharing his feelings about having premature sons. He spoke about his journey into parenthood so far. He said: “We found out my wife, Becky, was pregnant in October 2018. We were really excited as we had got married the year before and we were looking forward to having a family. We got pregnant quite quickly but my wife was in a bit of pain the first few weeks. It got really bad one night.”

Following this, Carl’s wife had a scan. The results proved inconclusive but the sonographer revealed a surprise for the couple.
He added: “The sonographer said ‘there’s a heartbeat’ and pointed to the screen and said ‘there’s another heartbeat’. It was a bit of a shock. We had a bit of a
panic but then we were like ‘typical us’ and we had a laugh about it. Every time we do something, we do it the hard way.”
So as the parents-to-be started preparing their Scunthorpe home for the arrival of two new additions, knowing they had three months until they would meet their sons. They headed out for dinner one evening and that night, Becky woke Carl, believing that her waters had broken.
He said: “She was only 27 weeks pregnant and I was like ‘how?’”

I realised I could probably help people by sharing my experiences

The couple called the hospital and explained what was happening. Becky was having contractions and suddenly Carl was faced with packing the hospital bags in a rush.
On arrival at the hospital, Carl and Becky were told the twins were on their way and there was no time for a transfer to another hospital that would have been better equipped to look after premature twins.
“We were rushed into the delivery suite. At the time there were 20 people in the room and all the equipment. That was the one thing that struck me, how many people were in the room. They got Stanley out and they held him up and said he was a boy. I was shocked how small he was. He cried a little and was whisked away in an incubator,” Carl recalled.
His brother, Hayden, followed 50 minutes later and after a quick photo was taken, he was also transferred to the NICU ward.

Following a later hospital transfer, Stanley and Hayden spent a total of nine weeks in hospital. With a desire to help others, Carl started the blog in 2020 and has been growing it since then. His blogs focus on everything from his own story to providing helpful resources for parents. Friends started sharing his blog and said it was great to hear it from the dad’s perspective.
Carl said: “I realised I could probably help people by sharing my experiences. I found a growing community out there and as they read the blogs, I carried on writing.
“It’s helpful for other people going through the same experience. Dads have said that reading the blog has helped them. It’s great people are getting something from it. It’s okay to not be okay and that is the message I am trying to get across."

Head to premdad.co.uk to read Carl’s blog.

Dads

Our volunteer dads offer peer-to-peer support for times when you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or just need a listening ear from someone who
understands. It’s a confidential space where dads of multiples can share the challenges they’re experiencing.
To speak to one of the dads you can complete the form here

If you are on Facebook you can join the Twins Trust – Dads of Multiples Group. It offers another safe space to chat to other dads who just get it. You can ask questions,
seek support and advice from other dads with multiples. Search Twins Trust – Dads of Multiples Group on Facebook